That's my fantasy. Is it deep and dark enough for you?"She turned away from me and turned off the light. I could hear her sobbing. I spooned against h...r and wiped the tears from her cheek, but there were so many. They were my words back then, the very same words she'd use with me much later."It doesn't matter - none of it matters - you're mine, all mine." ~~~~Linda was fine the next day. But I wanted to make sure she knew I didn't think less. When I reached the scene of the training I was surprised to see it still going on. Shayta and Nanita were giving Goondoe's men directions and they were not giving my mates any backtalk. In fact they seemed to be doing well.They'd only had the four horses to work with and by now the snubbing posts were empty and most of the men were watching four of them work.After talking with Shayta and Nanita I borrowed their lariats and picked two of the watchers to try their hand at roping. The first two. Picking up random useless junk and hauling it back to momma, asking please, please, please, life will be incomplete without that plastic tomahawk, chicken feather headdress, or rubber horse. Momma would glance at the price tag without really seeing it and say, “No, try this shirt on.”Eventually, dad will get tired of waiting and insert himself back into his parental role. He will remind the wife of their schedule and that they needed to be in Butte, or Boise, or Billings in 5 minutes. She, of. It was delivered with such force that it caught me completely by surprise.I am unused to failure. I haven't experienced it very often and this came as a shock. I thought I was so well prepared. I was sure Howard would see that this was important to me and that he wouldn't deny me my need. He's never denied me anything I really wanted before. Why did he react so dramatically this time?I had to rethink my situation. I love Howard. I know I do. But I need some excitement in my life. I'm nearly.
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